Good Morning my friends and non friendly ones as well.
I come to us just to react in general context what one of my Online friends who happens to be a Feminine gender shared yesterday on her Facebook wall, which I disagreed with, we discussed it to extent, but I believe that such issue shall be discussed extensively to enable our growing Teens and Matured Ladies have a grasp of Real reality and stop forming the SLAY QUEEN of Social Media that will not benefit her now or tomorrow.
My Female friend argued that Marriage is not a choice of the Male, it is the Lady that has the choices all around, it sounds as if getting married is a favor the Lady is giving to the man.
Here I come in with my disagreement and ready to teach..
In the days of Bible, God has a common play ground where he always come to meet with his friend called ADAM, and it was working very fine, but since God is always busy, he seldom join Adam, making Adam a lonely Man, God being a Just God knew the traumatic episode Adam passes through, he lay ADAM to sleep, went to his side, not his heart then extract just one Ribs and mold Eve, when Adam came back from the land of deep sleep, God gave him EVE who God said prior "I will give you a HELPER", So Adam was happy that he has a Helper, who can help his destiny and better the life of Both of them.
Remember that before then, God placed the Tree in Garden of EDEN, I mean the "DO NOT EAT THIS FRUIT TREE", Naturally as a man, Adam is not worried about that Tree and if he had lived a million Year in that Garden, he will simply avoid that Tree like a Plague, but EVE the Helper, simply helped and create enmity between God and Humanity, she Helped bridge the trust between the Garden and the Residents, She simply helped to bring acrimony in the life of Adam.
EVE did made same policy of women where Brothers can live in same house, same room for 30 years and not a single day shall there be fisticuffs, it doesn't matter the provocation, it will always end in teasing, but once any of them gets a Helper which we call Marriage, she will Torpedo the unity they enjoyed, she will kill the progress and once a successful business or alliance will become killed or multilated and the result will be same as ADAM got, when God chased him away from the Garden of success.
Marriage can survive, excel or die at the hand of the Wife, they are the ones that should HELP to build it, but majority of Modern day Lady thought that they have equal right in marriage, onye gwalu gi?
Listen Lady, that is the greatest lie from Pit of Hell, God did not fashion it to be so, culture did not mold it that way and recreation did not permit it to appear so.
Bible said in one simple language after EVE torpedoed the first God's arrangement "He who findeth a wife, finds a good thing and obtain favor from God to live with the. THING"..
FINDETH a good Thing, I do not know why God use THING instead of Human in this instance but it may have to do with the involvement of EVE and the Apple eating or eating and sharing of ADAMIC APPLE.
The Proposal and finding is for the Man, the acceptance is for the Lady, but some of the Ladies are so cruel and uncultured that the way they will use acidic tongue to spit on a man who they think is not well to do and made proposal to Her is alarming, they totally forgot that success of Men is like a mystery, a man can be a Church Rat today and Mega Rich person the next day.. If Chinedu Ikedieze and Osita Iheme can make it this large in life... If that Beggar MR SPELL can out of sheer stupidity became a celeb,if Mr Ibu can be a success, it means that, rate of success cannot be defined.
Even the richest man alive can be bankrupt just within a twinkle of an eye, so nobody is made for life..
Ladies, when you start your marriage trying hard to catch your husband cheating, sneaking round his phone and conversation just to see if he is cheating on you, let me ask you an honest question.. If you caught your husband today with a Lady cheating what will you do?
Will you slap him? And how about you try that and he gave you a very clean and beautiful beating that will give you a sound Bed on Hospital and promise you a Divorce..
What next?
It is either you start going from one prayer house or Native Doctor to another in search of Solution that is not free and for the problem you created yourself.. Or... You report him to your Family or his, and if they summon him and he say in response, I want to marry 4 wives, do you think any of them will beat him up?.
Sorry, they will only try to reason with him and telling him the implications, which will come as advise..
How about you make so much noise and calmly he say to you "That Lady is my second wife, the sooner you accept her the better"..
You can only vent, rant, rave and swear but read my lips, if you have any sense at all, that will be when you will see that you have killed your home, for you will shout "Not in this house, if you bring her here, I will kill her".. Automatically you have agreed that he should see her outside but not inside and if he brought her home at all, the worst you get is two to beat one and if you pack out, you become Tokumbo and the intruder becomes the new owner...
Why is Mazi Odera sounding this raw and rough? Because he want his words to touch home.
Listen, if your Husband looked around with all the Ladies and desperate ones all around him and he proposed to you, get married to you and not them, then years after he starts going outside to search for it, just try and see what you are doing wrong and even when it is not what you did wrong, just know that after EVE brought problem between God and Man, that God may have silently activated a pay back on EVE by making man to be Polygamous in New nature..
After all ABRAHAM the Father of Faith who is always chatting with God and knew that God made him promise that can't be broken, but the wife a good woman knew that the Husband is in a tight corner, she donated, sorry gave out her Maid to the Husband and it happened on her matrimonial bed, they did not go out to rent place or went inside Bush, but on the matrimonial bed while Sarah was outside keeping watch to make sure nobody disturb the PROGRAM that is ongoing...
Abram did not wait to be persuaded but whammm, just one touch and the maid became pregnant and hear this, that also activated the vitality in Abram, just one night outing, he became strong again that he also impregnated the wife that wouldn't be pregnant for Donkey years.
How ABOUT DAVID?, a man who wrote psalms and songs for God and who God love with passion..
May be because of the APPLE EATING pay back, at David disposal are wives and maids with Concubines but on sighting the wife of his Security Detail, his brain went into over drive to the extent that he have the Husband killed...
I thought God would've killed David for that, but do you know that the same woman who he killed the husband was same who have birth to the Prince that took over from David as the King.
Solomon was the son of that abominable transaction, a woman David did not marry nor pay the bride price.
Check the history of SOLOMON who are being celebrated as the WISEST MAN in nature,, so if you want your Husband to be Wise like Solomon, why not allow him to tap into his ways.. You know he has 700 Wives and added official 300 CONCUBINE.
I believe that the Polygamy nature of men may be pay back from whatever happened in Garden of Eden, because that was where everything went Sour.
Back to the Ladies that want to have equal partnership in marriage, do not worry, carry on and the day you will come Back to your senses is the day your age mate daughter beg you to join her wedding as Bridal train.
I know you have self worth, you want all the i doted, all the T crossed in Marriage but listen to me young Lady, had your mother waited for such, she should still be in her Father's house as Spinster...
No man or woman is the Ideal one for marriage... The one you think is perfect, is because you watch from a distance, come close and live 24/7 with that one and you will think you made errors, but read my lips, once you go into marriage with a mindset of... We are two different people with two different ideas and we have only 60 odd years to live as one, why can't I manage, that way, the things you saw as pains you will turn to Joy.
Some spouse love to make the other suffer in pains because you continue showing and demonstrating that it hurts you, start today to see such things as one of the things one met at school, which is a phase, that you will pass out and pass over..
Once you saw the worst and smile with a mindset that... How can I better this situation to favor me, that will be the day you will come back to life.
If you can develop enough, stop discussing your spouse with outsiders, especially those friends who always teach you how to fight back, fighting back will always bring another fighting for retribution.
If I can be married and stay married every other person can, for I am actively difficult to live with but once you understand that fighting me aggravated whatever mess in me, but showing me that I am in charge makes me to hand back all the management and seat back and relax with peace of mind..My wife understands me and manage me better and our children grow with a combination of Love and better life, they have not seen nor witness any shouting talk less of brawls.. If we can do it, you can do better.. I am very stubborn person and I know it very well, so you can do better than me..
Finally, Ladies, marriage in AFRICA is not 60/40, it is managed on sight with wisdom, not with mindset of I am a FEMINIST, if you approach it from that Angle, then you will either stay unmarried or you marry the worst of the wrong man or you divorce before the marriage even get traction.
The formula that worked in mine, cannot work in yours, that is why they say that marriage is like a Boxed Gift, you won't tell what is inside until you open it.
The only Formula that has never failed in marriage is to trust God and report to him the anomalies.
Other solutions are Nonsense and ingredients and having said the Above, I am off but on.. Heading to UWANI ENUGWU to hear UWAMGBEDE ka nma from the lips of the Legendary Mike Ejeagha the King of Egwu Ekpiri.
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