Good Day , great dawn and all thanks to the Most High who kept us alive even in the present chaos we call living, a situation without prediction or assurance.
I will seriously doubt if after living in Nigeria, that any of us can still enter Hell Fire, when we live inside it, I believe it is those who live right will taste Hell for a change and we enter Heaven for a balance.
Events of the past weeks may have forced my mind to think, mediate and ran intervention on the relationship between Daughter, the Husband and the In Law.
There was once a death and so many evil were perpetuated and canopied under Tradition innuendo.
Ka anyi kwupulu ani, Maka posterity.
Right or wrong, we have to choose which Tradition brews ill wind and the one that should be embraced.
As much as we can't scrap tradition, but we have jettisoned most of the Traditional inherent,, come with me Dear, hold my hands let's stroll,, please I say hold my hand and not wrestle my hand, just a Romantic like caressing..
Your Daughter was once your Darling, but the day you disowned her, she became another Man's Darling,,
I know you wants to read the upper part again, about disown, yes, the day your Daughter came with the MAN who she wants to trade her Biological Family with, so she can start a more Authentic Matured Biological Linage,the day she made the choice of life, the choice that led her toward the path her Mother your wife took and you raised a Family, that was the day you disowned her, cedes her to another Man and Family, then they ransomed her with the Bride Prize, the gods and ancestors gave consent on the Divide by accepting the Kola Nuts, drinks and libation offered.
Then on the White wedding proper, the Father and Mother singed a Dotted change of Ownership called Marriage Certificate, where it was clearly stated and I refer " Miss Nkechi Okeke henceforth to be known and addressed as NKECHI NWOKENAIFE"..
Then you signed her off and the inlaw signs her into his own Family.
From that very day, any day she visits her Father's house, the standard question from a reasonable and responsible Parents will ask includes..
1)How are your people? (They have started seeing you as Visitor and your people in question are the New Family).
2)They will ask you when are you going home, that's after some hours and you are not making haste to leave...(Your Home in discuss is your house, which is your inheritance, your Husband house, the house where you belong with your Children).
3)A real Father will like to know if your Husband was aware of the Visit.. That's to show, that your current movement cannot be planned by your parents but your Husband and your new Father and Mother provided by law which makes them.. FATHER (IN LAW) or MOTHER IN LAW.
If your parents think they love you more or you love them more, I want to ask them here and now..
Can your Father, Brother take you to Bed even with all the Love proffers?
Can they make your babies?
Well they don't have such qualifications, they are restraint and if such happens, it becomes Tufiakwa that both side and entire people will call abomination...
But when your Husband inflates and change your body Shape, when you started spitting all over the place and your face increased in size, what you will get is genuine congratulations.. And big expectations on when you will deliver..
No daughter can stand naked before the father, but she can dance naked before the Husband..
That alone divides the take and laid the interest where it should be and always reside.
As a Father of grown up girls, I always teach them way before now that my place is like a School, where you stay and graduate to next level, when you graduate, you see you have no longer share with Class Ndi One.
The greatest Honor to any Father Inlaw is to know that your daughter is married, stay married and raise a family.
If you raise a daughter who is still dependent on you for anything, it simply means you did not do your job well, that she still need EXPO and extra classes even after graduation.
I once told my wife back in the day when we got married, there was no GSM, so Land Phone suffice and one day after she made the TRUNK CALL or say International call to her Parent over issue that must arise when two people who where born and breed apart live together.. And can be solved with little Ene aghalu (over looking irrelevant issues).
Those born by same parents have thier own troubles, even twins do have theirs on many occasion, talkless of two people who grew apart, so after the Call, I sat her down and admonish her and I say among other things...
"Baby, please I do not want outside interference with our marriage, if you resort to your parents on any issue, they will always advise on what will protect you and expose your Spouse to rot, then in return I consult my parents, they will educate me on how to Cage you and force submissiveness.
Same with friends, they always advise with SELF-ISH Advantage, but all in all, there will always be one sided interest in every advise.
So if we implement whatever advise we got, then ife di na ulo, apuba ezi (Crisis unlimited).
Kindly make this marriage to succeed, if I do that which makes you angry or repluses you, simply find time when the mood is cozy and let's address it, same with me, but if that can't be done, kindly take the case to God who has no selfish interest within us, he can resolve it without iota of doubt"..
Cut a long story short, we have never taking our marriage to anybody for intervention and till now, we have not shouted, cried or raise fingers at each other ...
We simply handle whatever that comes as two adults that know before hand that whatever we do will find a way to affect our Children and we can't use our adult Stupidity to blur the future of our Children.
Finally to parents, you love your Son, Daughter but not enough like the spouse who can lay a generation into her or take generation from him.
If your Child thinks she is Matured enough to get married, what you owe them is prayer and not settling of cases .
I told my wife one thing and I still stand by it, the only way I will Beat her or divorce her is, when my Father show me how to beat, by beating my Mum or when he Divorce her as example, but if that can't happen, then be rest assured that we will quarrel, frown face but not enough for our Children to see us that way.
We owe them the duty of being Father and mother that will give them Bragging Right among thier friends and as I speak, there is no marriage that can best our own.
Have a great Day, if God permit, if I have the right frame of Mind, I will write on...the REAL MARRIAGE KILLERS..
Mazi Odera POg JP wondering why no Ram Meat for one or Sallah Gift from my Friends or enemies.
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