Samson the strong gave a riddle and I provide "What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?" (Judges 14:18) ".
That was a poser for Philistines his in laws, as they belted him with his own wife who did not understand that marriage is a sacrament between you and the spouse, that you cannot and should not take a side against your spouse , no matter the odds.
Some, women especially are married but still see the Husband family as Outsiders, they still resort to her old family as blood, forgetting that your old and or biological family has washed hands off you completely.
The day your Dad or surrogate poured wine in a Cup, handed same to you and demand that you show the witnesses present the Man who you choose to replace your Father, Siblings and whose parents and brothers are now your Blood.. IN LAW(within the traditional and Heavenly Laws, giving rise to the name IN LAW).
Then in our omuta ogbakaria fashion, where we juxtaposed our own culture that is rich and inherited as the Son's of Abraham, we out of confusion mixed it with that of British who brought to us theirs which is White wedding, where your parents blessing are not needed, kinsmen are not existent, culture is a taboo unless pledging allegiance to a woman who they choose as God with appellate of THE QUEEN.
So after our own Traditional wedding, which was same Joseph and Mary DID in the Bible , which was the one Jesus went to and manifested his ministry by turning Water to Ezigbo Nkwu Ocha, then after we have wasted our money doing the right one, the one that needs your kinsmen to go with the Man to meet with kinsmen of the Lady and they will share Kola, share food, share drinks and share future relationship.
That serves as Ogbugbandu (Covenant) and any time both side saw one another, they greet, hug and exchange banter and they look out for one another with Love, care and understanding that any harm to one another is challenge to Chi.
Contrast it with the one imported from our religious importers who made us to think that UNTIL YOU DO BRITISH STYLE WEDDING, where you wear Suit and the Wife wear White, that you are living in sin, a Lie that even Satan will feel bad telling, because Such was not found in Bible which is our Footstool, rather the Tradional wedding is Bible recommended.
After you have done the right one, the church will demand from you the imported one and our own brothers in Cassock will demand to know if you have had Sex with your Wife before coming to the British invention, imagine after both parents, the kinsmen has confirmed and consented that you are legally married and you have joint blessing, but Church will still make you look as if you are stealing from your own Pot, but I digress.
On the White wedding, your father and mother will SIGN CHANGE of ownership before the Church and Pastor, your father after handing you over will then sign on a prepared wedding Certificate another dilemma, what has Certificate got to do with accient tradition?.
Anyway your parents will sign that the Lady has been disowned, that she is no longer part of her biological family, that she has been exchanged to another family, so she will start her own life, so on the dotted line, the man will pen his name that the daughter who was known and addressed as IFEOMA NWOKENAIFE has henceforth ceded to IKEABUOTU , so her name henceforth till death and after death is.. IFEOMA IKEABUOTU, and with an appellate MRS.
Then the fun begins, both Mothers, yours first will start watching the stomach of the daughter to know if it has swelled, the Mother given to her by Law (Mother in law) also will be watching and counting days if she has started spitting and vomiting in morning hours.
Remember that prior to that, if they hear, in Igbo concept that the daughter is having Sex, they will nail her to a cross without nail, but now they are pushing her to take it like breakfast, lunch and dinner, and everybody is waiting to see the result that She is doing it well with a protruding tummy.
Back from digression, and to Samson and his in laws, they did not allow Delilah to stay married and Delilah was not Matured to be married, she did not know that once you are married, your life has changed the same way your surname changed and your love, affection and allegiance lies with your new family.
So you protect only your own family and not YOUR FATHER'S FAMILY.
if your Mother wants to teach you how to cage your Husband with anything that is not submissiveness and Love, tell her to go back to her own Husband house for you to build yours, after all she married over 20 years ago and her marriage is Analog, whereas yours is digital, the formula that worked in hers cannot work in yours.
The formula that worked in the family of Your best friend can never work in yours because both of you married two different persons and no two persons are same.
Stop comparing your marriage with that of others, if you marry that your friends husband, you might wish you never even got married, we should know that if you are standing in your compound and looking into another's, the lawn looks greener but when you get into it, you might see the Mirror and smoke that blurred your vision.
Delilah came with mindset of SLAY QUEENS, what they get and not what they brought into any relationship , so she set her own husband up to be milked by her people, which if her marriage fail and she goes back home, she has become a Used Tokunbo and any young man that goes for her will be seen as Efulefu, her own siblings will be mocking her, the mother will tactically start giving her chores meant for maids and she will become a coded maid in her Father's house, if she mistakenly look for a small trouble with any of her Sister or even mother, she will hear the history of her life in VHS and DVD.
As Delilah tricked Samson and got the answers to the aforesaid riddle, she was happy that she betrayed the Husband and the brothers smiled, when she gave them the answer which is "Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet" (Judges 14:14"..
Well the Husband has to pay the price from the family pocket, but as nature has it, he did not only get the price from same In laws, he did not steal it, He laid them to waste and soak the ground with the in laws blood to pay the price of sabotage from the wife.
Girls of modern day civilized world felt that they have the right to live the way they chose, but never ask self, who gave you the right?
God, religion or culture?
Come with me Dear Lady, hold my hand gently,, wait I did not say romantically, just plain holding without caressing added...
Now relax and hear me..
God, said to TRINITY ,Genesis 1 VS 26 "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:"
He did not say let us make Man and Woman, now I know why it is the woman that started the eating of Apple.
Jesus may have understood that, what killed the Ministry of ADAM was the wife, which made ADAM when God ask him, ADAM where are you?, instead to answer, I am at the back yard or under Udara tree, hear his regret, but let me move up a bit, so you can understand the concept...
Genesis 3:9-12 New International Version (NIV)
9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”...
Now Traditionally, women also are considered to be migrants, so they are not meant to inherit from the family tree, because you may cede a land to her and she got married to Man from Utomkom or Fernandopo, she will have double confusing for she will always be sarcastic with the Husband because she wants to go back to her Inheritance from her Father.
That was why also they change name, so she will understand that her portion is now with her Husband and If she eventually dies, she will be buried in her House which is her Husband place, unless she was sent packing before then.
Church, only Pentecostal madness that started giving women ALTAR, even the one in her PERIOD desecrate the Altar and making God angry..Let's look at Bible perspectives to women involvement..
Leviticus 15..19 “Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days. Anyone who touches her during that time will be unclean until evening. 20Anything on which the woman lies or sits during the time of her period will be unclean. 21 If any of you touch her bed, you must wash your clothes and bathe yourself in water, and you will remain unclean until evening. 22 If you touch any object she has sat on, you must wash your clothes and bathe yourself in water, and you will remain unclean until evening. 23 This includes her bed or any other object she has sat on; you will be unclean until evening if you touch it....
Now you see why I preach that woman should please for God sake stop trying to ape the nation of the West that goes against the ordinance of God and nature, there is no equality in marriage, read my lips and hear the word of God, man is the HEAD of the house hold, even if he is a drunk, he was a drunk before you married him or you made him a Drunk.
Marriage is never Bed of Roses, stop looking for a perfect marriage, mine is not perfect, I am not married to an Angel, I married to my wife and we saw our relationship as one that will come with hiccups, tiny troubles, anger session but one thing we know is that as imperfect as we are that we always weather it with great understanding, we always use our troubles to build bubbles and it makes it fun that phased away.
Men, stop looking for a wife without fault because you don't even have anything that can be confused as perfection in you.
She has her flaws, but we have basket of flaws... If your wife is giving you troubles, have you thought about SARA and ABRAHAM?
She gave the maid to Abraham to Browse, then same her that made the donation turned to ask same man to send her away, if na me and you na punch to the face of Sarah will End it.
How about JOSEPH and MARY?, sure the Angel told Joseph, but if it is today, even G.O of the most anointed Church and An angel Flew down with Wings and deliver such message that THE WIFE IS PREGNANT by Spirit, the man will send the wife to her parents to deliver and await DNA results.
So we should know that as long as there is life and we live, even with your blood siblings there is always days to fight.
As an Adult it gets to a time you force independent from your parents or they will make you live like a toddler for rest of your life.
THIS Monday morning, and we approach another Christmas, the end of the year and also another Political season, may we grow with astute understanding that there is life after this season and having said the Above, I am off but on while watching the Flood that is called Rain that has turned season into childish taunts.
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